A Decade: My Journey Being Celibate

Ten years. 120 months. 522 weeks. 3650 days. Not perfect, may I add.

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I have avoided typing this blog post because one, I haven’t blogged in a while (in about a year) and two, because it is about a topic I don’t speak about to many, unless we super close. But I wanted to share a bit of my journey because it is something I value and believe it can encourage you. This entry is simply a celebration to being one with myself and God; a marker to the commitment of waiting until marriage for intimacy. I wanted to celebrate the battle I have been winning for little over a decade. It is still a battle that when I reflect, I still cannot believe it has been this long and how much I have transformed because of it. This post is to celebrate my journey on being celibate.

The Journey

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Now clearly, if you know my age, you can do the math and figure out how old I was when I became sexually active. I was a junior in high school, on the path of finding my identity. And you know exactly how high school was: athletes being clout chasers, girls wanting the athletes’ attention, and just a lot of relationship games. I was definitely one of those girls; wanting the attention, the affection, the title—you know where I am going with this. But those guys just wanted one thing, wink wink.

Through one relationship, my entire view of intimacy and sex was skewed. The only reason I did it is because I was fearful of my then boyfriend leaving me if I didn’t offer something valuable to keep him around. What a mistake. And what a low value. It happened once but once was more than enough. I remember thinking, “God I know this is wrong. But I don’t want him to leave me.” And boom. A week later he left me because I confronted him about some rumors.

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That was the only time there was skin on skin contact, but let me keep it one hunid. This is the realness I want to bring to the table. The aftermath has been a LONG battle. Shoot, it still is. What awakens in your imagination and desires due to one moment is something I wish I could take back all the time. From thoughts to dreams to temptation especially when I have dated; yo, it gets so REAL. But just as responsible as I was for the decision I made when I was 17, I am still responsible for the daily decision to focus on renewing my mind and not setting up myself to be tempted. Easier said (or typed) than done, but I know it matters.

The Conviction

You might be wondering why I feel so much weight on this; and sometimes I do too lol. But the truth is that I want to live my life with purpose even before I get in a relationship, be engaged, and then marry. How I go into a relationship is how I will  do the relationship. Just because one gets in a relationship does not mean that person will be changed for the better. I have heard about so many divorces recently that I have started to fear being a relationship in general. What if there is no long term commitment? What if he finds someone more attractive or interesting? Can I trust him? All these crazy questions running through my head and I am still single lol. I have to pray this fear away quite often because the proximity of divorce is too close nowadays. I know heartbreak well and for the possibility of greater pain to be so easily attained in our generation compels me to remain patient.

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I decided to celebrate this moment by taking photos to remind me of my commitment. This commitment is to honor my relationship with God, to honor the legacy I am building for future generations, and also to honor the God-fearing, anointed, called, fine as can be, hilarious, kind, serving, humble, yet mad smooth man that I will compliment one day. Where ya at son?! Kidding. Kind of.

But seriously, my choice of remaining celibate after one encounter is for a bigger cause than just abstaining for the sake of saying I did it. That’s fine and shoutout to all my girls and fellas that are doing the same. You are not alone. But that is not at all my motivation. My motivation in being celibate is rooted on the fact that sex is sacred, sex is to honor God in His blessed covenant, and sex is a commitment to intimacy. So until then… lol.

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How do you feel about the topic of sex? Do you think it is okay for it to happen outside of marriage? If so, why? And if not, why not? What are your thoughts on celibacy? I’d love to hear where your mind is. Follow me on IG (@timagstyle) and comment on my most recent photo.

On my next REALNESS post, I will share my journey on learning how to love myself and practical ways you can do the same.

Hugs!

❤ Tima G

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Life Update: 2018 in LA and 2019 Expectations

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Hi family!

For those of you who don’t follow me on IG (@TimaGStyle) I just uploaded my update video on how my life is currently going as I now live in Los Angeles on my YouTube channel.

Watch and make sure that you like, comment, + SUBSCRIBE!

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More content coming soon.

#LiveLimitless | Tima G. ❤

Life Update: Part 2

Many of you have been wondering why I haven’t moved as I said I would have by now. Although there are multiple variables in this equation, there is one major reason for the slight adjustment of my plans. At first, I hesitated to even say what I am about to express because I didn’t want to be embarrassed, I didn’t want to feel as if I could not meet deadlines, and among a plethora of other thoughts, I did not want to appear weak. But I know I have to because it is my responsibility to help others out in the same situation I am in or will be in.

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RECAP

About two months ago, I had a meeting with my dear big brother/mentor/pastor/spiritual father. As I met with him, he was excited to hear me step out on faith but he also wanted to help me by guiding me with wisdom. So, what did he do? He gave me homework that included writing my vision, goals, and practical steps to achieve them.

I did my homework and a few weeks later, I presented the assignment to him. I was nervous but at the same time, I rested assured in what God had given me to accomplish in NYC. Needless to say the meeting was successful but it also gave me a different perspective.

My leader believed I should give my move a little more time before I jumped out on faith due to multiple factors not being solid YET. I say YET because they were/are being worked on and the answers have not been a solid YES. God is not a God of confusion (1 Cor. 14:33), and lowkey I was confused about some decisions I needed to make. Like a good leader, he did NOT force me to make the decision, but he confidently suggested that going to New York for two weeks would be a great time to EXPLORE the land to see what it was like, to see the people, the strongholds, the issues, the neighborhoods, the transportation, and everything in between.

Numbers 13:17-20

Then Moses sent them to spy (explore, scout) out the land of Canaan, and said to them, “Go up this way into the South, and go up to the mountains, and see what the land is like: whether the people who dwell in it are strong or weak, few or many; whether the land they dwell in is good or bad; whether the cities they inhabit are like camps or strongholds; whether the land is rich or poor; and whether there are forests there or not. Be of good courage. And bring some of the fruit of the land.” Now the time was the season of the first ripe grapes.

As soon as I got home, I prayed. But deep in my heart, I knew that this was the best decision for NOW. I took a couple of days and made my decision. And this decision gave me courage. I believe I would have added so much pressure to my life I would have been forced to get a side hustle to earn money, to find a home because hotels are oh so expensive, to make friendships happen, etc. Pressure is good in the right context; but this would have been too much too soon. Who knows what else could have happened if I would have moved on October 28th foreal!? We will never know.

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Wow. What a journey it’s been so far! Honestly, I have learned so many things from being in the middle of this leap of faith. The main thing I have learned is to be led by God but also consult with leaders you TRUST. The Word says in Hebrews 13:17 to “Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.” It is not because they rule your life; it is because their responsibility is to watch over your souls. Even if they make a mistake, they are accountable to God and God can restore it all. God honors submission/obedience. And truly, I would rather submit to someone whom I believe hears from God than to go out on a whim and pretend like I know what I am doing. Yes, it sucks to not be in the city right now, BUT I am thankful for leadership that cares about me and my future.

I encourage you to reach out to the people whom know your journey, your heart, and have your best interest in every aspect of life. Also, time is KEY but don’t feel pressured by it. I know I was. My mind has changed a little and I now use deadlines as markers to guide me along the right path. OH yea. Before I forget, know that it is okay if you do not meet a deadline.

Your purpose is still YOUR PURPOSE.

Your calling will not be taken back (Rom. 11:29); God is bigger than our plans and His will ALWAYS prevails (Prov. 19:21). If you have been stuck or feel like there is a delay, know that God is literally working it all out because He cares about it all (Rom. 8:28). Focus on HIM, not the task. HE is our reward (Gen. 15:1). And will always be.

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If you have any questions, suggestions, comments, or would like to contribute to my move, contact me at timagstyle@gmail.com or via social media (IG/Snapchat: @timagstyle).

The date of my move is TBA but trust me, you guys will know!

Talk to you guys soon.

#LiveLimitless | Tima G. ❤

Life Update: in NYC

Hello everyone. As many of you know, at the end of August I announced that I would be moving to New York City on October 28th. Guess what?? I am HERE!!! WOO HOO! I cannot believe I am in the place I will call home VERY SOON!

*car break sound effect*

You might me wondering, what do you mean very soon? Well…. Let me catch you up on some things.

I have always wanted to move to the city. Since I began to be interested in fashion, around my 9th grade year of high school, I was interested in this big city. The fashion, for the most part, but also the hype of why so many people wanted to live here. So… as I began to truly dedicate my life to Christ, God began to show me more than just the city; He showed me purpose for the city.

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My first ambition was to come and look good. Show my fashion sense and just live here because it was the thing to do. Reflecting on this motive, I see how selfish and lowly I was thinking. I was thinking from a worldly perspective instead of a heavenly perspective. Through seasons of maturing in my faith, my confidence, and in serving others, I have been molded for a greater purpose than just myself—to build God’s kingdom in the fashion industry.

Just like you, I have many questions on how it is all going to come together, on how the resources are going to come, on which people to connect with to get things done, etc… BUT the bottom line is that I am willing to do what it takes to move forward in my life and to help others do the same. I want the industry to see Jesus in a way they have never seen it. Whether I get rejected or accepted, my conviction of Jesus being Lord of all will remain.

I was blessed to have two of my best friends come transition me in this trip and I am thankful they are friends that are willing to sacrifice for me.

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Brooklyn Bridge!
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Grand opening of the new NYX store in Manhattan!

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Pizzeria in Soho
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Joe and the Juice
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Train Commutes are fun lol

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Moving on kids…

Regardless, I have not made the transition to NYC yet. But my hope and dreams are still unshakable. I will be back soon and cannot wait.

I pray this post encourages people who want to move, who want to be entrepreneurs, who are afraid of what people will think, who do not know how your plans are going to workout. Know that it is okay to be at that place and that things will work out. Be diligent and faithful with what you have, and the Lord will add the increase. 

Love you guys!

#LiveLimitless | Tima G. ❤

@timagstyle on IG/Snapchat

Trend: The Pleated Skirt

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When it comes to style, I am not much of a “girly-girl.” I love things with edge, that display that I don’t play–lol yet I love to throw slight hints of me being delicate and kind. Feminine pieces are great but I love to mix such items with unexpected hints of…ME.

I have seen a lot of my favorite bloggers and magazines displaying the pleated skirt in such lady-like ways that I decided to wear one in slightly two different ways. Of course I am a lady, but I have to express this femininity in my uniqueness.

Pleats and Sneaks

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The first way I wore the pleated skirt is with sneakers. (I found this skirt at my local Salvation Army Thrift Store.) I paired it with an old cargo bomber I had traded in at Urban Cheapskate and a white camisole to keep things neutral and airy, since it was hot as ever that afternoon.

I serve at my awesome local church (Transformation Church) in our media department, so being behind the scenes of photography and social media always has me on the move. This means that comfort, especially on my feet, matters. I tried the outfit on to make sure I did not look like a complete mess the previous night, even though 95% of the time I do not ever plan my outfits (I just wing them). Needless to day, I really enjoyed this look and plan on wearing my sneakers with another thrifted skirt I got for colder days. 😉

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Pleats and Studs

The second way I wore this skirt, in which I think is my favorite, is with my studded heels. I purchased these online at Forever21, and yes they are heavy and can be uncomfortable after wearing them over 5 hours BUT cmon, they are dope!

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Can we talk about slayage? LOL. Lowkey when I saw these pictures, I took a second look because my hair was unplanned, I was sweating, and my feet were throbbing after such a long day. Shoutout to my beautiful photographer that happens to be one of my best friends, Ryanne G.

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How do you prefer on wearing skirts? Dressed down or dressed up? Comment or tell me about it on my social media 🙂 follow me @TIMAGSTYLE on IG/SnapChat.

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…and don’t forget, #LiveLimitless.

Tima G. ❤

Trend: Off-Shoulder

Trends come and go. And when they come, they come strong. One of the trends (more of an essential for me) that I absolutely love is the off-shoulder ‘trend.’ It is such a beautiful and elegant design that allows people, like myself, that are modest and fashionable to show some skin in a tasteful way. I have personal standards I live by and one of them is not too much skin.

“How you measure when too much is too much,” you may ask? It goes back to my relationship with God, my belief of self-respect, and presenting yourself the way you want to be approached.

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My tan lines are real. -_-

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[Details– Top: Old Navy, Jeans: Thrifted/Personalized, Shoes: F21]

How do you ladies wear your off shoulder clothing items? Are you a fan or not? What stores are your favorites to shop at for them? Comment below.

And follow me on social media: @TIMAGSTYLE 🙂

#LIVELIMITLESS | Tima G. ❤