As many of you know, I planned on moving to New York City about 6 months ago. I began this plan literally one year ago, had a budget, found a roommate, and expressed a lot of faith for my vision to take this concrete jungle by storm.
Needless to say, with wise counsel in my life, I decided that last November was not God’s best time for me to move to NYC. I did go to explore, connect with others, and to be re-inspired by the city that never sleeps.
Very shortly after my 2 week stay, I experienced a rough season. I was questioning if I heard God, if I was going crazy for even trying to go, if I looked stupid for even saying a word about my vision to people, the list goes on and on. My mind waged war within. I wanted to live for Christ wholeheartedly but I was so heartbroken. Where was God in this situation?
I slowly began to drift away from trusting Jesus and His plan for my life. I began to disobey the smallest things because I was careless. In my mind, since God did not care about my plans, I was not going to care about His. But even then, I knew deep inside that God was looking out for me, even when I didn’t see it. I forced myself to stay in church, to serve every week, to invest in others’ visions with what I could, and to simply be faithful with what I had.
I wish I could say it was easy and that I was joyful this entire time, but I would be lying.
It was HARD. Actually, it sometimes still is hard.
I felt like the last one picked out on a team, like God forgot about me and my desires, like everything I had done was unnoticed, etc. And even THEN, I still was faithful with what I had.
A few weeks before my birthday, I was tagged on an IG post for a summer internship and it caught me off-guard because I honestly did not think I was qualified for it. The person that tagged me encouraged me to apply and that same night I filled out that application.
The same week of my birthday, I got an email saying I was one of the girls being considered for the duration of the summer internship. So I interviewed and I just let God take care of everything else. I took a vacation in Miami for my birthday, and it was as if the enemy just wanted to destroy my entire hope. My purse, wallet, cash, and camera got stolen. (blog post here) And you can only imagine how I felt. But even THEN, I praised God and declared Him faithful in my time of loss/violation.
As much as I wanted to just say forget this faith walk, I kept surrendering everything to God. I experienced so much loss in the last year that I felt I had no better option than to continue surrendering my plans and will to Him. Through all my emotions/faith being shaken, I got a second email saying I would get another interview opportunity that would determine my plans for the summer.
I got excited yet nervous because I was not expecting to be a part. I felt like this was too good to be true, too good for me, too big and amazing for little ol’ me.
(WHY DO I UN-QUALIFY MYSELF SO MUCH?!)
As the second interview ended, I prayed and surrendered everything to God all over again. I left my plans in God’s hands. I did my part and now it was up to Him to do His. I only wanted to be accepted if this was part of His plan for my life. And guess what?
I AM GOING TO C A L I F O R N I A
FOR THE A SEAT AT THE TABLE INTERNSHIP
WITH BIANCA OLTHOFF.
What is life right now?!
I am still beyond overwhelmed trying to make sense of why I have clothing piles laying out everywhere as I try to pack. It would take another 30 minutes for me to type up all the emotions I have had experienced in the last four weeks when I found out I got in the internship. Talk about excitement, expectation, faith, joy, hope, anticipation, a little bit of nervousness, man.
The only thing I can say is that GOD IS FAITHFUL. He is able. He is gracious. He is our Shepherd.
Can I just brag on Him? I literally don’t know how this happened. Six months ago I was crying and questioning everything in my life, and now I am rejoicing and thanking God for His unexplainable plans. Wow. WOW. W O W. My mind is blown.
If you have been questioning God’s plan for your life, know He HAS you. He really does. Even when things do not make sense—trust Him. Even when all hell breaks loose—TRUST HIM. Even when everything seems to be going in the opposite direction—TRUST HIM. I saw myself in New York City and now I am going to Cali. LOL. God is funny. But oh so intentional; who knows, maybe this is a stepping stone? Maybe this is needed before NYC? I do not know. And you know what? That is okay. We have to learn how to be okay with not knowing it all. I have tried and tried to figure out my life and I fail every single time. That is part of having FAITH. It is not faith when you see it all; it is faith when you don’t see it all and still trust.
I cannot wait to get to California. This is my first time going to the West Coast and yooooo….. I am about to be tanning everyday. LOL. But really, I am going to have a blast and I cannot wait to share my journey with you all!
Join me in my California journey starting next week. Check out my IG and FB for more updates. Until next time!
#LiveLimitless || Tima G. ❤